A Satisfied Mind
by LePipi
Summary: Apparently, it was that time of the year. The time where his desperation was so obvious Cas had to set him up with someone. And it always ended up the same. Plot Twist: It doesn't. HumanAU Dean/Lucifer


A Satisfied Mind

"Yeah, uh, I get it-I get it-"

"No, you don't!-"

"Yeah, I'm a sex God-"

"A cock-tease! You're just a-"

"I'm amazing, sure-"

"I can't believe I already bought you a birthday present!"

"Ya did? What is it?"

"What...The fuck does it matter! You didn't even give me a chance!"

"Well what's the present? Might change my mind you know, poor ol' me-"

"I could have loved you! You never even tried to get to know me!"

"'Cause you're like a badly written gay Captain Hook, I mean don't get me wrong, the sailor hats were a turn on-"

"Goodbye, Dean Winchester! And hope you rot in hell!"

The line clicked dead and Dean gave the phone a pout.

"Well that went well..."

-/-

"You made the conscious choice to use telecommunication as a means to end your relationship with Benny?" Castiel quirked an unimpressed eyebrow at the man sat opposite him.

"Yeah, I mean, whatever. I was stinky, I couldn't go out." Dean explained with a nonchalant shrug, going back to his burger with fervor. He hummed appreciatively, casting a glance at his friend. His friend who was giving him thunderous eyes of disappointment.

"Ya know, if burgers came in boyfriend size, I would probably marry myself one." He gave a smile around another mouthful, hoping to lighten up the stoic man. He was going to be bitched at, he just knew it.

"You excuse is being unclean?" Castiel glowered some more, and seriously there had to be some job where you can glare for a living. He could probably find him one, on the internet or wherever.

"Well, yeah. You can't just, pop up to someone reeking." Dean nodded along to his words of wisdom and took the last of his burger in his mouth, rubbing his hands together as his eyes trained on the fries basket.

"Dean." Castiel sounded as Dean chewed the last bite which ended up being surprisingly big, while pouring ketchup over the delicious potatoy goodness.

"Mhmmm..." He hummed noncommittally, just to show he was listening.

"Dean."

"I'm wif 'chew, jus' lemme geg this... kekup..."

"Dean!"

Startled, Dean finally turned to Castiel, and got an eyeful of blue and righteous.

"You are smelly right now. Your shit is still wrinkled from when you slept in it. And it's got holes. And you have pit stains. I do believe you have successfully "popped up reeking". " He finished with the little air quotes he loved so much.

Dean swallowed audibly, the food going down roughly, making him wince. The wince more or less explained his feelings on Castiel's perceptive nature.

"But... It's totally not the same. You're Cas, and we're-"

"And we're in a diner, at lunch hour, where potential coworkers might find you slacking off with me, when you called in sick this morning." Dean sat back in his chair, appetite miraculously gone. He tried glaring back at his best friend, but Cas was a master at this.

"So? You've seen me be worse. What, I'm suddenly not good enough to be seen with you?" Even he could see the absurdity of the statement, but he would rather have a petty fight than a full-blown intervention.

"_You_ know, and _I_ know, that that is not what I meant. This is your fifth relationship this month, with, might I add from my personal point of view, a very solid man, which you ended for no particular reason."

"Dude, I just wasn't feeling it. We were too much alike, and he was too... Patient. Like, he never did anything on his own will, he was always waiting for me to do the first step, for like everything. He couldn't choose a fuckin' movie for us to watch. Patient's not even the right word, more like... He was kind of a wuss. Like, you'd expect him to be all adventurous and up for some fun, but he was just, the most vanilla guy I'd ever met. Vanilla's boring." Dean huffed annoyed and turned his glance away from the glaring man in front of him.

"And did you explain this to him?" Castiel prompted further.

" 'Course I did."

"In a respectful manner?"

The silence ticked on as Dean gave a meek smile, which made Castiel roll his eyes.

"Why do you do this to yourself, Dean?" The man clasped his hands together his gaze turned upwards, as if voicing this to the heavens.

" 'Scuse you?" Dean's eyebrows shot up, head twisting to the side. It was his turn to dial up the sass factor.

"_This,_ Dean. You sabotage yourself on purpose. Over and over, again." Castiel sounded so tired and morose it actually took Dean aback.

"It's as if you don't think you deserve to be happy. And this, not showering, missing work, not calling your brother back, bar hopping, it's bad for you, Dean. It might have been easy fun at a time, but now, it's destroying you." Castiel must have sensed Dean's uneasiness because his tone softened immediately and his face relaxed from the intensity it had taken to.

"There is nothing wrong with you. You are admittedly gorgeous, funny, smart and often times a nuance, but a better word would be a welcome distraction." He gave one of his rare soft smiles at that.

"But, this right here, this is not you." Castiel left it at that and turned to his neglected coffee.

They stayed in silence, a comfortable one for Castiel who sat with a relaxed mind and an unnerving one for a pissed off Dean.

"You sure you're not gay, Cas?" It was the best thing he could come up with.

"Positive." The indulgent smile he got in return was enough to evoke a chuckle from both of them.

-/-

Apparently, it was that time of the year. The time where his desperation was so obvious Cas had to set him up with someone. This was an annual experience, mind you.

And of course, it always ended up the same.

See, Castiel was odd. Odd in a way that he only attracted other oddies. But, Cas was a good odd, he was kind, nice, freakishly smart, totally humble and weird as fuck. But his garrison of oddballs were too off, even for Dean.

And there he was.

In his _nice _green shirt with the tight cuffs and _nice _ugly tie and _nice_ suit pants. Everything about him was just so _nice, _he felt like puking.

Mostly he felt like puking because this just wasn't worth it. He knew it the moment he saw the guy.

Squirrely dude, way shorter than him, bearded and lanky. And the most frazzled expression he ever did see. He should have figured Cas would just send him someone like that. It was like he didn't even pay attention to the men he dated.

He listened to the guy, Chuck was his name, talk about nothing in particular, messy words coming together jumbled and it was then that he made the decision to never try about anything ever in his entire life.

"So, uh, you like music?" Chuck voiced with a slight quiver as they gave the waiter their orders (pasta and a steak salad for Chuck, Jack Daniels for Dean).

"I do." Dean nodded feeling the most miserable he'd felt since ever. His gelled hair and shaved face and sharp cologne only made matters worse. With a finger he tugged insistently on his collar.

"I like music too." Chuck said in a mousy voice.

And this was it. This was where Dean had had enough.

"Oh my God!" He slammed his hands on the table leaning into the suddenly panicked man in front of him.

"_You like music too? _For real? I have never met, _ever_, another person who liked music!" He mock gasped before settling back on his chair.

Still, he was so far gone in his frustration he went on with the theatrics.

Fishing out his cellphone he continued.

"Hello? Yes, I would like to schedule a wedding with another person who likes music. _Yes. Yes, I know right? _I mean, who would have thought, someone just like me, right? Yes, yes it's true love. Both music likers. Yes. Yes tomorrow is fine. K, thanks." He finished the imagined conversation and flipped his phone shut.

"So, guess we're getting married tomorrow." He smiled the biggest shit-eating grin he could muster.

Chuck was all but pissing in his pants.

A chuckle sounded somewhere from behind him. He tried turning around to see who it was, but then he got caught up in all the stares he was getting. Oh, right. Fancy restaurant. No place for scenes. Blah blah. And in front of him appeared a very... _Tall _man.

"It would be best for you to go ahead with the wedding preparations, my friend." The man said to Chuck, his hand on the chair as he leaned towards the small guy. Chuck scrambled up in a gangly mess, shooting a scared look to Dean and to the still unidentified man before making a run for the door.

And then, the man took his seat.

The _tall _man. With bitching blonde hair, all messily tousled Billy Idol thing it was. And not the beard, he was sick of beards, no, the kinda stubble which was so subtle and blended in so well. And those eyes, totally ice-blue, deep and silver and damn...

"I take it the date hasn't gone well for you?" Blondie spoke as he settled his intruding ass more comfortable on the chair. Sure, he was hot, but kinda overconfident from what he'd seen so far.

"Yeah, and it's not getting any better." Dean bit back, as he was sworn off men from now on. Even sorta hot men who thought they could just waltz up to you.

"Hey um, a refill. Please." He mumbled at the waitress he saw walking past.

"A whiskey for me too. Same as him." She nodded with that lifeless polite smile and went on without a word. Dean gave his uninvited guest a glare.

"Um, Lucifer?" A third part joined them and wasn't this one hell of a night. A blonde little kid with the biggest doe-eyes.

"Forgive me Samandriel, but you are dismissed." Lucifer? Samandriel?

"But I thought-"

"If you thought this date was going well, it is unfortunate that your eyes fail you." Lucifer , formerly known as Blondie, possible next nickname Satan cut the boy with a cold, flat tone and unblinking eyes.

Samandriel, former Doe-eyes stood silent in front of them, shooting a look of contempt to Dean who quirked an eyebrow in response, before he squared his shoulders and turned back to his missed date.

"I wouldn't have minded. But, of course, you are free to make your choices. Just don't consider me again." And with that he left with a stomp to his step and out the door.

To Lucifer's credit he gave a look of guilt at the door, but turned right around with a polite smile.

"My apologies."

"You could be his dad, ya know." Dean grimaced at the man before him.

"That would have made college more difficult than it was." He said matter-of-factly, which gave Dean room to consider the man's age. Of course he couldn't be bothered with make-believe math so he went back to teasing his new companion.

"So, Lucifer. Seriously, _Lucifer. _What possessed your parents to name you that?" He couldn't help but grin at his own pun.

"Funny." Lucifer nodded with a soft smile before continuing.

"My father was a theology professor at the community college back home. Very religious man." Lucifer kept his voice calm and flat, but the way his eyes strayed told him enough. Hell, he'd just met the guy, picking at family issues was a no-no,

"That's cool. My best friend's named after an angel." He'd decided to cut him some slack.

Lucifer's eyes popped up bright and interested now that the threat had passed.

"You do know that Lucifer was also an angel?" The wording might have came out pretentious, but it felt like a conversation opener.

"Seriously? I mean, I've never been into religion much, just kinda read the first parts about Adam and Eve. But then, out of nowhere they have a whole bunch of kids, and so many characters to remember, ya know. And then this one goes over there, and another one stays and then there's a murder, and it's like David Lynch on acid" Dean threw his hands in the air, making Lucifer laugh heartily. He smiled back, somehow enjoying that he could be found amusing by this man.

"It can be very confusing, yes. Though you have to understand that the Bible had gone through many translations, and many folks added or subtracted from the writing. What we call the Bible now, is possibly just child's scribbles."

"Yeah?" Dean prompted with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, but, this is boring material to be discussed on a first date. I would much rather talk about you." Lucifer gave a smooth smile, which made Dean roll his eyes.

"For starters, what's your name?"

Dean assessed the man before him, giving himself some time to think. If he wanted to bail on this guy, now was the moment. No name or anything, and he'd be home free. But, there was something about the man that was just luring him in. He had a different vibe about him. There was nothing desperate or intruding about him, instead he simply felt calm. Calm with a dangerous edge.

"Dean. Dean Winchester."

"Dean." Lucifer echoed the name with a grin. The 'win' was in his eyes.

"So, uh, seriously, you kind of threw baby-face away. Why so harsh?" He wanted to give the guy a little jab to show who's still the boss.

"Says the man who threatened with wedding plans." Touchѐ on that. Still, he smiled flirtingly and gave his line.

"Hey, what can I say. I don't fool around much." And gave his cherry-on-the-top wink.

His grin turned genuine at the soft laughter from the man opposite him.

"Noted. To give you your answer, aside from the obvious age difference, I felt he was too docile. Too eager and willing. It wasn't an even playing ground." He nodded to himself.

"And what makes an 'even playing ground' for the 'mightier than though'." The sarcasm was dripping from his lips. Nope, guy still wasn't off the hook and besides, he seemed to take well to his usually off-putting comments.

Right as rain, Lucifer smiled amusedly before taking a moment to take the drinks the waitress finally brought back.

"This right here. You don't censor yourself, Dean. Not for my comfort. And I might be presumptuous here, but not for anyone else either." Lucifer spoke softly, drink in hand to take a small sip, eyes never straying past the man before him.

Dean's lips formed a pout as they always did when he was thinking. What Lucifer said was... kind of nice, but so what? Anyone can stay stupid shit.

"What does no sense of manners got to do with you?" So, he handled the statement as he usually did when people tried being nice to him. Laughed it away.

"Honesty is beautiful. And I feel it is something I want more of in my life. And if it comes with a bite, I'm all the more for it. " He smirked with hooded eyes, and damn, if the guy wasn't giving him ideas. More than that, he was having trouble coming up with witty comebacks. That was saying something.

"Whatever you say, man." Hearing praise, or in this particular case, some kind of messed up flirting but in a good way, always made him uncomfortable and at a loss. He could give Lucifer a thousand examples where his so called 'honesty' had screwed him over.

"The truth is what I say." Dean chanced a glance at the almost-grey eyes and saw complete sincerity there. He gulped and turned for the whiskey taking a large swig.

"So, Dean, I hear you're quite the music liker?" Dean choked on his drink and turned to give the laughing man a look of utter threat.

"Quite."

The rest of the evening passed in pleasant conversation, simple questions and answers topped off with a mutual jabs and remarks. They never discussed their jobs or families, neither mentioned any sorts of plans for the future, nor marriage nor expectations. They talked food and alcohol, Lucifer got to know Dean's favorites were apple pie and of course, whiskey, while Lucifer preferred strawberry pudding and vodka. Dean understood Lucifer had a Siamese called Nikolai which he loved, and the way he spoke of him was how young parents can't stop gushing over their child. But, since it was February and mating season was up, the way his voice changed to a ridiculously realistic impersonation of a whiny goat made him want to kick the cat. Dean talked about his Impala, and the new parts that he was just itching to get, and how the wait seemed longer and longer each day.

All in all, Dean found he hadn't enjoyed himself so much in a long while. Lucifer was a constantly changing current. Some of the things he'd say made him sound like the most boring guy ever, but then he would say something, so ridiculous or funny or downright _dirty _he just knocked your sense of reality down. He was fun and open, and a change. A change from all the sterile carefully conservative men he'd dated, or the outrageously unfunny politically incorrect try-hards. He was himself. And he liked that.

"They're all shooting us dirty looks, dude." Dean turned around the restaurant, seeing it empty except for themselves and the passing waiters and their passive-aggressive looks of contempt.

"You think they'll shut the lights on us?" Lucifer prompted the joke further making Dean muffle a laugh.

"Wanna stay up and check?" Dean laughed, feeling confident in the reassuring presence of the other man.

"I have a better idea. You give me your phone number and I call you. And we meet again." Lucifer replied easily, his cat-like grin in place.

Dean eyed the man before him and the opportunities he could see there. He liked the company he presented. Still, unsure of what this may become of, he found he liked the idea of exploring the kind of relationship he could develop with this man.

"Sure, yeah."

**I do what I want, and I write Ducifer when I have a hundred other fics already started. I've just never written this pairing before and I found the idea too intriguing to let go. It's been sitting on my pc for too long, so I thought I'd just post this and get motivated or something. **

**Basically, it's got one or two more chapters before it's done. And basically, the world needs more fics were Lucifer isn't the evilest of evils that does only evil. He can fluffy too. Review if you'd like to, I appreciate all comments, and thanks for reading.**


End file.
